"I ENJOYED." 

"It would be ungrateful not to show him that I take pleasure when he gives his all," says Julia. And it was the same with my exes: in fact, the only times I ever fake it is when I'm masturbating, and I don't feel like I have to have an orgasm to please the other. other." "The statistics are relentless: two out of three women have already simulated during their sex life, and that's twice as many as twenty years ago". To explain this generalized myth, we can tell ourselves that women don't know how to express their desires or choose their partner, or that female sexuality is more complex, more "cerebral" than male sexuality... It relieves some gentlemen of responsibility who don't know how to locate the clitoris or who are satisfied with the minimum s) Union (“You way she enjoys with her brain, I'm not going to stick my finger in her ear to tickle it, huh! “), and it makes women feel guilty for not enjoying as they should. Because of the injunction to orgasm, it exists. In Fakingit (not translated into French), the American essayist Lux Alptraum observes that orgasm is one of the erotic scenarios that shape the imagination as much (more?) as they feed it. On-screen, orgasm is like turning everything upside down: Every time, you win the jackpot. For more honesty: you explain to your boyfriend that not only is orgasm not automatic, but also that the fact of not having one does not 
“I was convinced that I was abnormal because I never had an orgasm like in the movies, remembers Daphne? Until the day a sexologist told me that there were about as many ways to reach and express ecstasy as there were women, and above all, that orgasm was only one facet of some pleasure. "A useful educational work, for our lover, but also for us: we understand that we do not "owe" him we can enjoy without taking down the chandelier from the ceiling screaming with pleasure, and we can have a good time without fireworks at the end. 

" HURT ME." 

In Getting Out of the Hole. Raise your head! Anne Carrière, Maïa Mazaurette denounces the counter-productive prejudice according to which “love hurts”, morally and physically. For a long time, Marion was confused about pleasure and pain: "When they talked about sex in front of me, my big sisters said things like 'I prefer when it hurts a little', 'I like it to be brutal' , "I dumped him because he was too soft"... So I was convinced that sex must hurt to be good, not bad to scream, but a little bad, what. It completely messed up my perception of what I really liked, and what I didn't like at all: I didn't dare ask my ex to be softer, for fear that he would take me for a bad shot ! Maïa Mazaurette observes that pain is not seen as a problem, but as a rite of passage by many women: "We learn that you have to suffer to be beautiful, that the first time hurts, that good sex hurts, that talking badly to each other is sexy... As if gentleness and consent were boring. The sexpro admits that the erotic virtue of a game of consented force, but relativizes on the systematically pleasurable: the fact of feeling pain, is not always exciting, sometimes, it is unpleasant. To be more honest: if you don't love, you have to say so, especially since good lovers prefer to do good than harm. you have to suffer to be beautiful, that the first time hurts, that good sex hurts, that talking badly to each other is sexy... As if gentleness and consent were boring. The sexpro admits that the erotic virtue of a game of consented force, but relativizes on the systematically pleasurable: the fact of feeling pain, is not always exciting, sometimes, it is unpleasant. To be more honest: if you don't love, you have to say so, especially since good lovers prefer to do good than harm. you have to suffer to be beautiful, that the first time hurts, that good sex hurts, that talking badly to each other is sexy... As if gentleness and consent were boring. The sexpro admits that the erotic virtue of a game of consented force, but relativizes on the systematically pleasurable: the fact of feeling pain, is not always exciting, sometimes, it is unpleasant. To be more honest: if you don't love, you have to say so, especially since good lovers prefer to do good than harm. is not always exciting, sometimes it is unpleasant. To be more honest: if you don't love, you have to say so, especially since good lovers prefer to do good than harm. is not always exciting, sometimes it is unpleasant. To be more honest: if you don't love, you have to say so, especially since good lovers prefer to do good than harm.

"I'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE..." 

Several studies confirm it: women and men lie about their sexual experience... But not for the same reasons. Women tend to minimize the number of their partners, while men willingly exaggerate it… Because many of them do not admit that they meet Escort-Girls. Scientists explain this gap by a social norm that attributes to women a more sentimental sexuality, therefore more symbolic than that of men who "take" their partner while the latter "gives herself". Celine, former Escort-Girl, confirms: "Once, a man was shocked that I told him that I had had many lovers and only one romantic relationship, he thought that was "rare for a woman", I quote and not in a good way. term since he never saw me again. In fact, if you want to get involved with a man, it's impossible to tell him that you've already had a threesome or that you love sodomy: he runs away! Suddenly, I divide the number of my exes by four, and I pretend to discover the submerged side of eroticism with my partner, that reassures him. But why do men, not all, but many, need to feel like the Christopher Columbuses of our asses? For sexologist Aurore Malet, sexuality is an area intrinsically linked to the construction of virility, which some men still make a preserve of: the female equivalent of don Juan does not exist, or else she is a slut over whom another absurd myth weighs, that of the relaxed vagina, which has no scientific basis since the vagina is a muscle, not a sweater sleeve. For more honesty: we remind our lovers that the number of partners defines neither our "technical" qualities, as we say in figure skating, nor our moral value. 

“OH yes, I WANNA SO MUCH...” 

As men are creatures as fragile as they are paradoxical, most want to meet a partner who has as little sexual experience as possible... While having the skills of a pornstar. The character of Maddy in the Netflix series Euphoria is an edifying metaphor for this: while she has had several sexual experiences, she tells her boyfriend that she is a virgin. When he insists: "No one has ever penetrated you?" she replies: "Only my finger..." With a cat face in front of a bowl of milk. “Today, you have to take initiatives without frightening, be naughty, but not slutty, reserved, but not boring, quips Lux Alptraum. These are just updates to the virgin-whore dichotomy. The idea that sexual expertise is innate and that it requires no effort and is as toxic as it is absurd: you don't attack the Tour de France by contenting yourself with having read all the books on cycling..." This new contradictory injunction tends to blur the radar of our desires real. For more honesty: we follow the same path as Alice, I was not transported to the idea that my boyfriend ejaculates on my breasts, she admits. However, at the beginning, each time he asked me if it turned me on, I cooed "oh yes!" By putting as much enthusiasm into it as possible. Result, one day, when I was really not in the mood, I got angry, it destabilized him, and we argued. He asked me why I had never told him anything, I replied that he could have

"YOU ARE THE BEST HIT I HAVE EVER KNOWN." 

It is not always a lie, of course, but it can be, and it is what Maïa Mazaurette calls a "white lie" or a pious lie, which in the context of a harmonious relationship does not harm to anyone, on the contrary: “I have known extraordinary lovers, with whom sex was really magical, sighs Caroline. One of them, in particular, made me come just by touching me. Well, clearly, this is not the case with Thomas, whom I nevertheless love deeply and with whom I want to spend my life, because we get along wonderfully, because he will make a brilliant father. ... Our sex life isn't amazing, but I tell her otherwise and that helps spice it up. For Maia Mazaurette, men are under much more pressure in this area than women: they are supposed to want sex all the time, take all the initiatives, have a hard-on on command, hold out as long as possible, make their partner come... "And yet , the male body is much less eroticized than the female body. The fact of hearing a woman's desire is therefore very narcissistic”... For more honesty... Or not: Aurore Malet nuances the ideal of transparency within the couple: “Not all truths are good to say or to hear, and not all lies are poisonous. Some allow you to preserve a secret garden necessary in any romantic relationship. Ultimately, sexual lies don't matter, as long as you don't lie to yourself. » they are supposed to want sex all the time, take all the initiatives, have a hard-on on command, hold out as long as possible, make their partner come... “And yet, the male body is much less eroticized than the female body. The fact of hearing a woman's desire is therefore very narcissistic”... For more honesty... Or not: Aurore Malet nuances the ideal of transparency within the couple: “Not all truths are good to say or to hear, and not all lies are poisonous. Some allow you to preserve a secret garden necessary in any romantic relationship. Ultimately, sexual lies don't matter, as long as you don't lie to yourself. » they are supposed to want sex all the time, take all the initiatives, have a hard-on on command, hold out as long as possible, make their partner come... “And yet, the male body is much less eroticized than the female body. The fact of hearing a woman's desire is therefore very narcissistic”... For more honesty... Or not: Aurore Malet nuances the ideal of transparency within the couple: “Not all truths are good to say or to hear, and not all lies are poisonous. Some allow you to preserve a secret garden necessary in any romantic relationship. Ultimately, sexual lies don't matter, as long as you don't lie to yourself. » . “And yet, the male body is much less eroticized than the female body. The fact of hearing a woman's desire is therefore very narcissistic”... For more honesty... Or not: Aurore Malet nuances the ideal of transparency within the couple: “Not all truths are good to say or to hear, and not all lies are poisonous. Some allow you to preserve a secret garden necessary in any romantic relationship. Ultimately, sexual lies don't matter, as long as you don't lie to yourself. » . “And yet, the male body is much less eroticized than the female body. The fact of hearing a woman's desire is therefore very narcissistic”... For more honesty... Or not: Aurore Malet nuances the ideal of transparency within the couple: “Not all truths are good to say or to hear, and not all lies are poisonous. Some allow you to preserve a secret garden necessary in any romantic relationship. Ultimately, sexual lies don't matter, as long as you don't lie to yourself. » “Not all truths are good to say or hear, and not all lies are poisonous. Some allow you to preserve a secret garden necessary in any romantic relationship. Ultimately, sexual lies don't matter, as long as you don't lie to yourself. » “Not all truths are good to say or hear, and not all lies are poisonous. Some allow you to preserve a secret garden necessary in any romantic relationship. Ultimately, sexual lies don't matter, as long as you don't lie to yourself. »

Zaramodel: According to a national survey on heterosexual sexual attitudes in France, men have an average of 14.14 partners, compared to 7.12 for women. A proportion that remains the same all over the world, whatever the average.