Insomnia when you hold us... 

A column dedicated to all insomniacs... Good night from zaramodel.com

You too know that sly little voice that comes to whisper in the hollow of your pillow: “Hello, it's me! How are you? No, don't worry, I'm just passing through. I promise I'll be out of here soon. Well, now that I'm here, can you tell me a bit about your life? It's 1 a.m. and that horrible little voice straight from hell is... insomnia. 2:00 a.m. Still nothing. I close my eyes, nothing is happening. How do I usually do? I only have 6 hours of sleep left, so now that's enough, let's get started, Or else... And if I got up? What if I call an Escort Girl? In the meantime, I'm going to drink herbal tea. How about I go for a little jog? Not impossible. I am a prisoner of my own bed. So I remain obediently lying down, in the vague hope of ending up taken over by the drowsiness that this beautiful Escort Girl will give me. I wait. I'm thinking of all those lucky bastards sleeping right now. These millions of sleeping humans are in the middle of a dream or in the middle of a nightmare. Right now, half the globe is bathed in the torpor of a vegetative sleep. But not me. Me, I think. “Cogitate”. It's funny this word, would stick well with the housemate. How do words become words? That's it, I no longer reason normally, everything is subject to weird thinking. 2:57 a.m. Am I hungry? I dunno. What's in my fridge? Nothing. Am I taking a sleeping pill? No, it's too late. Did I remember to turn off the hotplates? I do not have any. What's that stain on my ceiling? Looks like a witch on a broom, or just a stain, otherwise. Here, it scratches my foot. Shit, I forgot to call Vanessa back, she's going to think I'm pissing her off, She's getting me drunk on that one. Anyway, it's simple, they all piss me off. It's like Nathan, that dirty guy who had everybody against me. Well, it was in college, okay? I don't know why I keep thinking about that but I never digested this story. I'm going to find him and I'm going to kick his ass, yeah!! 3h. OK, I need to calm down, the lack of sleep is making me paranoid. Calms you. People are nice. VS' that's why they sleep, these bastards. They have the right to sleep BECAUSE THEY ARE NICE! 3:03 a.m. Too much commotion. I would like to file a complaint for the nocturnal noise in my head. 3:12 a.m. I'm tempted to grab my laptop to listen to a relaxation session (to the point where I'm at) but I refrain from looking at any screen. It seems that it stimulates the brain too much and prevents you from sleeping. I can't take such a risk. Too bad, I'm waiting. I'm bored. 3:25 a.m. Does an “SOS Insomnia” exist? A call center for people in difficulty? But yeah, but it's too good this idea! How come no one ever thought of that? Well, I can't go to my laptop to check but I'm sure no one has ever done it. Go banco, tomorrow morning first hour, I create "SOS Insomnia". In the meantime, sleep. What if I tested something like "don't open your eyes"? Maybe by forcing myself to close my eyes until tomorrow morning I'd have a better chance of falling asleep. No, it's useless, it's dark even when I open my eyes. Stupid. 3:54 a.m. How long can you go without sleep? I crack. I go on my mobile and I learn that the world record is held by a 17-year-old teenager who went 264 hours without sleep. Nickel. It gives me hope. 4:12 a.m. What if I changed direction Maybe moving my bed west or towards the moon will help? 2:30 p.m. No, it doesn't change anything. And then it blocks access to the toilet, it's even completely stupid. 5 a.m. Did I finally sleep, even for a few minutes? I don't know. It's rough in my head, maybe without doing it on purpose I would have finally fallen asleep. Hooray! You can go home, faithful insomnia, I won the game! Ha ha! I got you. 8 a.m. The alarm rings. The little voice is still there, it brags "Have a nice day, eh, you'll think of me today, Come on, kisses."